How to Minimise Anxiety While Navigating Family Gatherings
Guest article by Jason Lewis of strongwell.org
Feeling stressed about visiting family is perfectly normal. But for some people, anxiety is a serious issue that permeates every part of their lives, and dealing with family just adds another layer of dread. If this is you, try these strategies from Anxiety At Ease to keep your anxiety under control so that you can make the most out of family time.
Plan Family-Friendly Activities Together
If you’re visiting with family you rarely see, it’s important to try to plan activities where everyone will have a good time. Try to avoid plans that center around alcohol so things don’t get rowdy, especially if you have family members who don’t drink (or who shouldn’t).
Having an activity to do together can ease some stress because the entire emphasis isn’t on conversation. Plan some fun outdoor activities like cornhole, ring toss, or badminton to get everyone involved.
Help your kids remember who is who, and learn some family history at the same time by creating a family tree. You can make it an activity for everyone to ensure accuracy and to go as far back as possible. You might even want to let people know about this activity in advance so that they can bring pictures and other factual information to add.
Hire a professional photographer to take some family portraits. You can go with classic pictures or mix things up. Just have fun with it!
If you have some grillmasters in your family, turn your get together into a barbecue cook-off. Offer fun prizes - along with family bragging rights - to the winner.
Avoid Landmines
Big family gatherings aren’t the time to fight over elections or bring up embarrassing events from your childhood. They’re a time to talk about exciting personal news and beloved memories. These tips will help you keep the peace and exit a conversation gracefully when you need to.
Some families are incredibly competitive, and it comes through in every conversation. Try to avoid anything other than friendly competition, especially when it comes to politics, relationships, and business.
Have realistic expectations of your family members. If Cousin John always brags about his kids and Grandma Maria slips in some racist comments now and again, just expect it and deal with it the best you can. Going in hoping things will be different sets you up for frustration and disappointment.
Avoid excessive amounts of caffeine, as it increases cortisol, which leads to anxiety. Caffeine can be found in some surprising places, like drinks not widely known to have this ingredient, so be sure to read the label. Sunkist Orange Soda, for example, has 19 mg of caffeine in a 12-ounce can.
If you notice someone moving into dangerous territory, step in and change the conversation. Simply take a moment to acknowledge the speaker’s feelings and then steer the conversation in another safer direction.
If you're struggling with coming up with healthy coping skills or having severe anxiety, speak to a counselor or therapist, which is usually covered through health insurance. Reach out to your insurance provider to verify that your policy covers these services.
Take Breaks as You Need Them
When the stress of being surrounded by people gets to you, step away. Find a quiet place to breathe and decompress, or take a few minutes to put one of these easy self-care rituals into practice.
Most of us hold tension in our neck and shoulders. If you feel your neck stiffening up, take a moment to stretch it out before it turns into something painful or you develop a headache. Simple neck rolls and gently extending your head to the back and then to the front can make a big difference.
You feel your anxiety rising, but you feel stuck. How can you possibly decompress in the middle of a family gathering? Simple. Walk away and try a 10 minute self-care activity. Look around and be mindful, recite some positive affirmations, or pop in your earbuds and enjoy one of your favorite songs.
A little low-impact exercise or walking works, too. Regular walking has been shown to help reduce anxiety levels by releasing feel-good hormones, so put on your sneakers and take a brisk walk around the block. If you don’t live in a pedestrian-friendly part of town, find a walkable area with a high Walk Score.
Take a few minutes to do some guided breathing exercises. Meditation and guided breathing will lower your heart rate and allow you to focus your mind. And with a little practice, you can get into a relaxed state of mind within just a few minutes.
Getting through family functions can be difficult, but no matter your family’s dynamic, there are ways to make the most of your time together and keep your anxiety from overwhelming you. Remember that you all love each other, and that’s what truly matters.
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Photo Credit: August de Richelieu via Pexels